Shaded Heart

A violet sun shines deeply
revealing a heart of grey
that trades alcohol for oxygen
and chemicals for this blue blood.

Sadness marks my every breath,
and my seared lips speak only fear.
Blackened thoughts fill my mind;
these swollen eyes shed hope.

My skin knows no lover’s touch
and no siren songs ring these ears.
A dull moon rises in an empty sky,
signaling now the final hour.

In the essence of a moment,
shade and brilliance meet.
Intertwined into such beauty:
the aura of a soul.

The stillness pursues
where loss and gain ceases
and a dim light shines
warming this shaded heart.

In this silent surrender
perfect love knows no other.
So death and life are one;
collectively this heart.

A thought is born
from memories of love
as angel’s tears spread
filling this star-lit sky.

My darkest hour was barely grey
compared to your incessant dismay.
I tried to help but you wouldn’t speak.
That fateful hour, your life so bleak.

You run away and still I follow.
You realize your life so hollow.
I wish I’d been there in your life
before you took that silver knife.

You took your own by my side.
The pain I felt I can’t confide.
I only hoped it was a dream.
I could not stop the bleeding seam.

When you died, so did I.
I did not realize my demise.
I follow you now to your grave,
for without you, there is no shade.

Tainted thought brings sweet illusion
Victory of a forgotton fall
Temptation arising into passion of love
Succumb to the sweet melody

Bringing more than just emotion
Something that seeks to destroy
But is held as a treasure to you
And I too have tasted death

Breathe. Taking in the air
Silent intoxication here
Streaming through my veins
Bleeding out my tears
A forced sigh of discomfort

Speak. Nothing to be said
An evil silence spreads
Dying slowly to myself
Trying not to think aloud
Another second creeps on by

Feel. Numbness takes control
A pain that killed a soul
Escaping through my hands
Taping up the wounds
The dark consumes the fire

Die. Struggle for the life
This long and lonely strife
Crying to gods not there
Fearing what a moment brings
My heart never feels a beat

I taste the sin inside my mouth
Blood from this wounded heart
Beating sanely its wicked life
On pounding drums roll death

Just between the solid beats
A moment of cold regret
But should I ever cast a blink
vengeance will surly come

As we lay here holding on so closely
I gaze up at those heavenly fires
Brilliantly burning their lives away
Clinging only to their darkness

The moon’s radiance soothes me
Warming my mind to distant thoughts
Gleaming upon the softly breaking waves
That wash the broken death ashore

The streetlights yield a steady flicker
Complimented by the sound of passing cars
The rhythmic ambiance flows with my heart
A heart that is beating only for you

Seaborne air breathes the scent of life
And we’re quick to run to warmer refuge
The clouds set themselves upon your lips
Lacing the ground with its subtle shine

I shut my eyes and soak you in completely
And I pray I’ll never wake from this dream
With you it seems everything is poetry
From my heart with a perfect love

Midnight air thickens and I struggle to breathe
Falling tears wash away the memories
And the sounding beat spells out pain
While every moment reminds me of you

My face hits my hands and I bury the thought
And I wish for a fire long since gone now
The cold is welcomed but now I’m freezing
And I yearn for a dry place to rest

Slowly the storms rise with eventual death
And the darkness eclipses your sun
So I gasp with fear and sigh a resolve
And I cry until the rain goes away

My hands become cold as I embrace loneliness
And I’m remembering every word you said
Every lie I believed foolishly
With your every synthetic emotion

My heart bleeds to this day for you
But your eyes are nowhere to be found
And you’ve fortified your heart against me
And you left me here to die all alone

I tried so hard to get you to stay
But by then you’ve run out of reasons
You are the first I really, truly loved
And I’m sorry now for this fact

So I’ll say “fuck you” and “good-bye”
Even though I’ll never forget you
And I blame myself for all of this
I should have never opened up

On the surface, you pretend to be.
Powerful, Wealthy, Prestigious
Your friends, your family
So comforting – so perfect.

On the surface, you think you understand.
You act out life’s charade, hoping to be know
Hoping to be loved.
You were born this way, and you shall die as this.

On the surface, you start your construction
You build toward that which you cannot reach
You seek that which is not even there.
To be something you can never be.

But I have burrowed beneath the surface

Underneath you see who you really are.
You life was nothing, so empty.
Your friends abandoned you; your family denied you
So truthful – so hurting.

Underneath is where true knowledge is found.
You begin to reveal the most deadly secrets.
I’ve never been so alone
But I’ve never been so alive.

You tear down the mask you wear.
And go deep within the earth
To find truth; to find yourself
To be what you know you are