Shaded Heart

I saw you again today
But I held my breath
Wanting to just hold you
But even that is wrong

Trying so hard just to say “Hello”
When every moment counts
And every actions screams
And every word has meaning

I’m forgetting your scent
Every curve of your body
The sound of your voice
The magic of your smile

And I woke up this morning
Knowing I was still alone
And that this day has come
The day I’ve always feared

You saw me again today
But you never uttered a word
Passed me by like a stranger
As if you’d forgotten my name

You won’t even say “Hello”
It doesn’t even matter to you
Instead you’ve gone to my best friend
And I’m hating every second

You’re remembering the days
When everyone was friends
And no hearts had been broken
No feelings destroyed

It’s amazing to discover
You can change our very lives
With a simple change of mind
And not even give a damn

In a world of no forgiveness
In a realm of many tears
In this sphere of sorrows
And of relentless fears

In a place of no tomorrow
You can only find today
And you live in your past
Where your life seems astray

There’s a place of loving
A perfected conceal
Where everything is peaceful
And your dreams become real

If you’d only let me love you
I’d show you the way
To my small piece of heaven
Where forever you can stay

If you’d put your past behind you
And gave to me today
Tomorrow we’ll face together
If it could only be this way

You say that you know me
But you have yet to see
You think you’ve got me figured out
But I’m forced to disagree

Confide to me your darkness
And I will give you my light
Tell me your deep regressions
And I’ll still love you tonight

Can you grasp my love for you
You must know it is real
And when you keep things from me
Pain is all I can feel

My heart is crying out for you
Let be known, my love is true
I wish you wouldn’t have to cry
But you do, despite all I try

Those who hurt you in the past
Those friends of your who did not last
Who cares at all what they say
As long as you’ll be with me today

But if you need to go and weep
I’ll be your hidden, secret keep
And together we’ll cry the night
And hold each other so very tight

And if you need to run away
I’ll be your shelter and your stay
Together we can find relief
From our sorrows, and our grief

Do not fear, I’m not the same
Of those who ridicule in shame
True is my passion which I show
Forget the world, just let it go

You will always mean so much to me
And I wish one day I could set you free
But maybe for this one minute pray
We’ll live it together, with past away

Confide in me your deepest fears
And I’ll whisper in your soften ears
I love you, I know that much is true
I am one, and that one is you

There were times things seemed so clear
I put away those things that I fear
All I wanted was for you to be mine
You told me that you needed some time

Days passed as they turned into weeks
But I stayed with you, I’m not that weak
Then you told me that things were okay
The day I had you – this day I’m most afraid

We’re together but now I’m holding back
Constant struggle this inner attack
I want you so bad, what can I say?
I never want to see you walking away

Now that you have taken your time
Show me now that you want to be mine
I’ll hold you close in the faintest of light
If I could only steal your kiss tonight

In hurt and fear my mind is caught
Up the volume to drown my thought
Though the sound burn my ears
It’s not enough to hide my tears

Your words can hurt like a knife
Your words make up my simple life
Was all I said lost in vain?
Are my actions consumed by pain?

Constant reminder of my mistake
This futile game which I partake
Can’t you let my errors go?
Maybe then you’ll start to know

History itself does not repeat
Our future now is not concrete
But the present is something I know
I’d love you if you’d let me show

I hope this feeling does not last
I hope someday you will contrast
You’re different and you know it too
I plan to see this one through

Thoughts freelancing inside my head
Feeling that I’d be better of dead
Without you I’m just standing here
Succumbing to my greatest fear

I’ve waited so long for you now
Those words I will not disavow
I loved you but now I’m fading away
So save me while I’m here today

Time is slowly healing my heart
A heart which you’ve torn all apart
But I don’t want to let it heal
Or else I’ll forget you’re even real

And if I make my heart out of tune
To you I will become completely immune
To save my own heart from breaking so
I can not take another such blow

Sure we make really good friends
But there is doesn’t have to end
If we start over what is it worth?
Our feelings will still unearth

So now keep me from moving on
Become not to me withdrawn
I’m losing you more every day
So come get me if you want to stay

Since you left I cannot dream
I don’t know what these feelings mean
I love you still but just make sure
A broken heart has no cure

I was too afraid to tell you before
But not that I have let’s not ignore
I’ve done everything I know to do
So now I give it up to you

The darkness enshrouds me
like a warm blanket in winter
or the thought of fear among the fearful.
The darkness soothes me
like a thousand singing sirens
or a lover’s hand upon my beaten face.
The darkness conceals me
like the night hides the sun
or my deepest inner secrets held.
The darkness welcomes me
like an inn to the lost traveler
or a mother’s knowing embrace.
The darkness contains me
like the sky holds its stars,
or the man who keeps his soul.
The darkness is a place I’ve found;
a place I shall never leave.